We are sharing our own thoughts in response to this month’s prompt (Refer back to The Invitation if you have questions about what we’re doing here). Libby Smith shares her thoughts on our prompt:
How are you? What do you notice about yourself in this moment?
I’ve waited until the last day of this month to share my thoughts on the question that has been so hard to answer this year. How are you? What I’ve noticed about myself in this moment is that I actually notice my inner self more often now. Maybe it’s a side effect of spending a lot more time alone or maybe it’s learning to slog through the grief on a more regular basis. Either way, I’ve noticed the weather of my inner world changes daily.
The lessons of this year were on display across #Eval20. The Measuring Love session in particular taught us that evaluation can be so much more than surveys, spreadsheets, and logic models. Just as this pandemic has fully revealed inequities and injustices in our society, we are beginning to see the ways in which our field also perpetuates them. The way we perpetuate them through our work.
I’m seeking something deeper, more connected, a stronger foundation. I’ve learned this year, and so much at the conference reinforced this, that this can only come from within. If I’m going to be able to shine my light, I have to make space for grief, make space for joy, make space for healing, and make space for relationships that allow me to prioritize my self-care. Ultimately, our relationship with our outside world can only be as deep as our relationship with our self.
We each have a role to play on the path to justice, we fully embody that role when we remember that we are inherently worthy. As I deepen my relationship to myself, my light shines brighter and I can better see the next steps on my path.
Today, on Samhain, I am reminded that nature demands that we are always in a cycle of life, death, and rebirth. I know that the days ahead will feel uncertain and deeply troubling, but I also know that this too shall pass. I’m sending you blessings for finding radical self-love and deep release of all that does not serve you. And so it is.